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Choosing a Hat as the Mother of the Bride or Groom

If you're reading this, there's a good chance you're off to a rather special wedding soon. Hurrah! And if you're anything like my mum, you'll have been more than a little bit excited to hear the news that your child is getting married to their perfect partner!

My mum, a 60-something white woman, as 'mother of the bride' on my wedding day. She wears a purple lace dress with a double pearl necklace. She wears a small purple pillbox hat which is trimmed with silver veiling upon her short, grey, naturally curled hair.
My mum, in proud 'mother of the bride' mode in her bespoke hat on my wedding day.

Any wedding is a fabulous time, and it's even more special when you can celebrate as a proud mum. And whilst you're not the star of the show like the couple getting married, I'm willing to bet that you want to look, and feel, fabulous all through the day and long into the night. Your outfit and accessories definitely help with that, and you'll not be surprised to hear that I believe that the hat or fascinator you choose plays a role too.

The things I hear most from a mother of the bride or groom looking for a wedding hat are "hats don't suit me" or "I don't wear hats". If this rings true for you, trust me, you're not alone. Even my mum hat similar thoughts about a hat for my wedding!

My mannequin head displays a black silk hat, which is closely fitted to hug the shape of the head. Draped silk gives texture, and a trio of pale blue satin roses adds a focal point.
A bespoke hat for a mother of the groom who wanted a vintage style 'half-hat' to work with fine hair.

Part of my job as a milliner is to reassure you, make you feel at ease, and help you to discover the right headwear style or shape out there which will be perfect for you. I like to think of it like glasses or a pair of shoes - once you find the right style for you, you'll know it and feel brilliant.

To help you find your perfect headwear I'd always recommend you pay a visit to my studio so we can have a cuppa and a chat about the wedding, what you're wearing for it, any accessories you're thinking of, how you'll have your hair, plus of course what you're thinking of headwear wise, and equally as important, what you don't like in a hat or fascinator. And please do bring along your outfit and any key accessories when you're trying on hats if you can, it really does help you to see how colours, shapes and fabrics work together.

Whilst some people subscribe to different hats being best suited to different face shapes, I like to throw those 'rules' aside and I'd alway encourage you to try on anything that catches your eye, the same advice I'd give when looking for your outfit. So many times it's the first thing that grabs your attention that ends up being your favourite! And you can't judge how it looks on the stand, as a hat comes to life when worn. You may even notice that once you pop on your perfect headwear you'll stand a little taller, with a smile on your lips, and a twinkle in your eye.

My mannequin wears a navy blue velvet headband which is trimmed with vintage berries.
One of my ready-to-wear pieces which was chose by a mother of the groom to compliment her softy flowing navy blue dress and red jewellery.

If you pop to my studio I'll have an assortment of ready-to-wear hats and fascinators ready for you to look at and try, as even if you're wanting something bespoke this can help you to visualise how something will look and how it will feel when worn. Who knows you may even find your perfect piece then and there! Though if you need to, please do take your time to go and have a coffee to think over options, or even come back another day with someone else for a second opinion. What matters is that you feel fabulous when you wear it!

If, when trying hats on, you find you like the shape of a certain hat, the trim of another, and the fabric of another, or want to tweak something scale wise, my job as a milliner is to help combine the things you love into your dream hat. I can even do little tricks like add a hidden comb or loops to help you feel secure that your hat will stay in place, or swap hat elastic which holds may of my styles in place so that it suits your hair colour.

Wether you opt for a large hat with a brim or a dainty fascinator, are curious about a ready-to-wear creation, or would like to have a bespoke commission created for you, here are a few things to perhaps think about that may help you to choose your perfect wedding hat:

  • Where is the wedding? How formal or informal is the wedding? A relaxed festival style wedding on a farm will have a different fashion feel to a more formal one in a church or a historic city building.

  • What time of year is it or what kind of weather might be expected? If it's likely to be sunny you may want something lightweight or with a brim, or in winter you may like to opt for a beautiful felt.

  • What are you wearing? Not just the outfit, but also think of any other accessories.

  • What's your hair like? And how may you wear it on the day? This is helpful when thinking about hat styles and how they will sit comfortably on your head.

If you have any questions at all about how I help you find, or create, the perfect hat or fascinator for you to wear to the wedding please do not hesitate to pop me an email on, or make an appointment to come and visit me in my studio for a no obligation chat and to try some pieces on.

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